Lost with no cause

OK, so I started this blog really to give myself somewhere to let off steam, mainly because I don't know how to otherwise, and I don't want to snap at anyone in real life.

A little bit of background about me.

I'm a 17 year old, who for 7 years lived with an alchoholic stepdad. He started physically abusing me about a year ago, and on top of all the verbal and emotional abuse I decided to move out. It had already left it's mark though, and I suffer from depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have flashbacks to what happened, and have nightmares about things. They're always involving things that happened with him, but 10x worse. the worst one I ever had was he was raping my mum and tried to kill TJ, and I was in the corner watching it all, unable to move or speak. They're scary, and they scare the shit out of me. But I find it helps if I unload on someone, so that's what this is for. I moved to England at the end of January, and now live with my best friend and her family. They're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love them to bits.

Ontop of all of that, I've got moderate/severe asthma. I take 3 different inhalers, and a tablet for my asthma. I'm quite lucky as my best friends have Severe/Brittle asthma, and they take a lot more medications than me. I also get stress induced migraines. So I need to try and stay kind of calm a lot of the time or I get a migraine that incapacitates me for 2 days.

Apart from that, I do a lot of work for Asthma UK, and am part of their Youth Forum. I am also going to be doing work with the Department of Health, and hopefully for the George Collor Memorial if they ever need us again. I love sports, and am hoping to become a sports coach for Leicester City council at some point in the near future.

Today is one of my bad days. I'm having an "I miss home day." I get these maybe twice a month. They're days when I want a hug from my mum or little brother, to be back in my old school with my friends and for everything to be normal. But I know that can never happen again. Because I've seen and done too much in my life.

Anyway, I'll leave you with some random stuff about me.

I'm starting GCSE's in September.
I'm hoping to try and remain as anonymous as possible on this.
I'm a qualified Open Water SCUBA diver
I can ski
I own an iPod touch, LG mobile, Acer Laptop, Wii, Xbox, PC (which is at home), 2 telly's, a dvd player, 3 hard drives and a kick ass graphics card!

Until next time!